does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
