I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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