hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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