i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
