Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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