THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
