I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
