and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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