haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
