just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
