ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
