We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize