We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
