I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
