take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
