I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
