I've blown a few things in my day
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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