i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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