My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
