I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
