The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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