I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just had sex on a roof
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
