i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
