we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You made out with two different species that night
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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