Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I will be naked everywhere
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
