make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize