Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
