I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
