i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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