is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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