He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
