Can Purell be used as lube?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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