i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
