this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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