Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Sorry about my life...
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