All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
