Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize