I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
