just tell him i said nine months
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
