So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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