i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
