Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
