office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
