The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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