She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize