My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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