I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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