how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
