we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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