I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
