i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
