She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize