I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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