please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Im part way to drunk.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
