We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize