he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Randomize
