Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
