So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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