I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Be still, my beating vagina.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
