Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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