Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
