She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
