We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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