I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
