My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i think i have two assholes
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
