Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
