I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
