K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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