i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
