Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize