Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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