Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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