If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
