I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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