All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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