Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
